A couple of ways to get into a beer without a bottle opener…

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Last night I had to open a couple of Stellas in the dark… (never mind why!) and you’d think it should be easy but I assure you it isn’t! It made me think of all the times I’ve been caught without a bottle opener but still with the overwhelming desire to drink the import in front of me…

I remembered the time I was at my friend’s 30th and we had to use a dessert spoon to open our bottles… you kind of lever the spoon against the 3rd knuckle of your index finger and supposedly the top just pops of effortlessly.

Bollocks.

I tried it and although I did manage to open my beer, I damn well needed to skoll it as pain relief after I felt a divot come out of my metacarple bone! It hurt sooooooooooo much - I immediately bruised, swelled and had to pretend neither had happened just to save face infront of the boys.

Then there was the time we got stuck bottle-opener-less again and were pulling the bottles sharply down onto the table so the top just caught on the edge of the table and would hopefully fly off somewhere around the room… except my husband got too carried away and ended up smashing the top AND the neck of the bottle off. Nice one.

Oh yeah, and my cousin taught me to open a twist-top with the underside of my forearm… never mind that I could just have done it with my freaking hand and avoided the bottle top sized bruise on my wrist - I can open a bottle of beer with my skinny little forearm! Yeah! That’ll impress the men-folk!

Anyway - I got into the Stellas without too much trouble and was just thankful I was using an implement actually designed for opening bottles and not cutlery, a table or my own skeletal frame!

Cheers