Toy cars, lawn bowls and Export Stout…

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This morning I woke up with a car in my bed.

A yellow, toy car.

I had slept the whole night with it in the bed and I didn’t notice. It’s a new low. Next I’ll be forgetting where I live, slopping beetroot down the front of myself and drinking port and lemonade… oh it’s a slippery slope…

Toy cars aside - my husband has gone to play lawn bowls. I know. LAWN BOWLS!! He assures me it’s ‘cool’. My only thought was surely the beer is still 1972-cheap but apparently not. So why is he there? What could possibly be the attraction?!  Why would you go somewhere filled with a disproportionate amount of senior citizens to physically exert yourself (albeit it minimally) and pay full price for your drinks? There’s a place you can go to where you don’t have to lift a finger except to indicate that you would like another pot - it’s called a PUB!

I’m bitter. He’s left me with no beer. I have 3 Cascade Stouts that have been in the fridge for a year and I’m drinking them - but I’m not happy about it. I like stout in winter. In summer it’s just wrong!

I’m going to go stick that toy car under his pillow now.  I should staple it to the mattress - that’d teach him to leave me with no beer!

Hmmmfff!