Is it wrong to be training your toddler to fetch beer from the fridge? (If you answer yes you are at the wrong blog)
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I take a certain pride in my son knowing how to say “Cheers!” delightedly as we chink stubby to non-spill cup and then both take a hearty, satisfying swig of our respective beverages. I think somewhere deep down I know that this is probably wrong and that the Department of Child Services might be interested in me, but I can’t help it. I just want to show off his endearing talent to other parents. Especially the ones who smugly tell me that they don’t say “No” to Little Johnny, they like to say “Just Looking” because it’s kinder. They tell me this while Little Johnny is quietly but successfully picking the pocket of a large, heavy-set bouncer.
I do have to admit however, that I felt a bit sickened today when we pulled up to the bottleshop and Felix (afore-mentioned offspring) chirped “Beee-ahh!”
I went cold.
How does he know the beer comes from here?
How many times have we brought him here?
Surely not that many…. oh my god… I started to wonder if we were enjoying a harmless joke or really creating deep-seated memories in a future alcoholic?
And then I thought of weedy, sooky Little Johnny and his behavioral problems and his smarmy, sober, humourless parents, and I thought…. so what?! So what if Felix grows up to enjoy a drink or 5?
At least his parents aren’t dickheads.
Date posted: Tuesday, August 21st, 2007 8:14 pm | Under category: sober ramblings
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Whilst recent studies have found that early exposure to alcohol is believed to enhance the risk of alcohol use and/or abuse later in life, alcohol is never the less still given medicinally to infants in some cultures through the infant’s bottle, and it is also common in some parts of Latin America to place a ball soaked with alcohol on the stomach of a fussy infant which brings relief in the presence of alcohol’s odour. Infants are also exposed to alcohol’s odour when parents drink, (a little or a LOT) and according to this particular study, this makes the alcohol’s odour more or less attractive to these children depending on the circumstances of the drinking.
My point is…..whether early exposure to alcohol occurs through minute amounts being ingested orally, absorbed topically, breathed directly into the lungs or simply by constant visual association through very regular attendance at the said bottle shop, what matters most is that this little bundle of joy always associates alcohol (read beer) with happiness, laughter, relaxation, good times and a loving environment. Given these ingredients…surely the drink of choice (and the frequency with which it is consumed) matters not!
Bless your cotton socks Kindred Spirit! I’m off to the bottleshop again right now!